oh fuck... im such a bastard!!! i seriously should have told you... but then some fucked up mechanism inside of me told me not to and that screwed me up. im sorry with deepest regrets... i dont think i can ever face you again with my guilt =( hate me for all you want cos i deserve it. i cant believe this happened.









im sorry to have hurt you...


erm today was sports day so we didnt have lessons at all. instead we went to toapayoh stadium where i did duty till 12. was soo boring. Zzz. casey came to my house after that to do some work and play. i was planning to go to the gym but i was too lazy lol. i asked casey to dota with me cos he said he was "good" or smth BUT then he hardly had any idea how to play. so i thought him and after that we played some imba mode where i choose a powerful guy for him and he owned me. its cos i wasnt playing at all as i was playing cs in antoher window lol. but he was happy so nvm. after that we finished our hmwk and then i showed him some of my guitar and then he went home.

my mum's good friend and her daughter whos my childhood fren came for dinner and then my bro and i played some songs for them and stuff. after they left, i continued csing for a little while before practising my guitar again when i was told that eugene ( our drummer) couldnt come at 5.30 then i was like WTF adnans not gonna like this! and then i smsed him and i got like an angry reply. ARGHHHHHH why is it so hard?!?!?!?! anyway we fixed the jamming at 7.30 after i got "scolded" or smth. stressed man... with exams coming and the gig. gotta juggle properly.


waaaa today was CCA phototaking! i wore my uniform to school, looking like a retard and people were like making comments and stuff like that. esp the sports ppl. damn them! haha lolx jkjk. so we had mother tongue and went for pe.

now, PE!!! woot i re-ran my 2.4 cos i wasnt happy with my last score and luckily, thanks to leon and his friend, i managed to get a timing of 13.36 which is a C!!! for those people who say aiya 13 mins only, then go on bragging about what their better timing was, go die pls. i was damn happy la. now i can get my gold.

after that was art where we went to the library to watch some art video? lols ok i dunno. during recess i had cheese prata and it was a fucking ripoff!!! guess what, i paid 30cents more for cheese prata with no cheese? WTF. so my 2.60 flew away after adding a tendorii chicken.

after recess was geog, sometimes geog seems sucky and sometimes it rocks. i dont know why. oh yea! i think its cos mr greg (super mario) has problems with the class or smth. i paid attention though, along with the other ppl. some people went for phototaking so he didnt really teach much.

during english was boring again. animal farm animal farm animal farm blahblahblah. guess what, i DONT GIVE A DAMN FOR A STORY OF ANIMALS RUNNING A FARM!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ok enough of that anger for now. so after the period of boringness, mrs kwok suddenly says "ok we're gonna have a test!" then we were all like omg cos very few ppl studied lols. during the test i was supposed to go for phototaking but she said a big fat NO. wtf. she went to explain to the teachers so it was fine in the end. i think i screwed the fucking test lol.

after school i went to the doctor's then home where i played a game of dota with benedict and lost horribly cos of some noob who played lr and fed like siao. so now im really sian and looking for ppl to talk to. if no one wanna tlak soon, im gonna cs my ass off till dinner cos tmr apparently there's no lessons (sports day!) and casey's coming over for gym. at the same time i can ego my ass off with my guitar lol.

btw is it sensible to like someone when u know that u dont have a fucking chance? i dont know but i cant seem to let go. i also realise that true love is when you see a person happy and ur happy for him/her even though u wernt the one taht caused the happiness.


OMG WTF la stupid blogger, all of a sudden the whole thing closed. now i lost like 700 words of blogging. FUCK.

ok i repeat basically wad happened today. double period mother tongue, physics with S.HO, english where i think i screwed my compre and then IEP where we wrote songs. spend most of the time chatting with cheng yang and, casey and yong chang. isaiah didnt come. (elaborates that alot of people nvr come in the past few days) after sch got fall in. after that i went home, bathe, eat lunch, CS then chi hmwk, TV, animal farm studying ( says stuff about hating tests and wad not and starts cursing) , talked with gad about girls and how i envied people who experience
co-edness and stuff like that. then i played guitar. got more parts to dance inside (yay). said somthing aobut TA2 approaching and if i fail ill go to tuition which HAS GIRLS and blahblahblah. wait... OH YES ANDDDDD i owned brandons frens in dota with my oh so powerful teammates. ok maybe i didnt do much with my pudge but i tanked! lol.

ytd was phototaking. a little screwed cos im not photogenic at all lols. the candid shot i had people messing with my head so when i tried to stop them, the cam went flash and i was like FUCK YOU PEOPLE BASTARDS OF MOTHERSSS!!!! . ok maybe not so hiong but i was pissed alright.

i am presently talking to my late night chatmate, casey! haha thx man always keeping my company on msn (im not gay)! looking at blogs and studying for lit at the same time.

i successfully summarized 700 words into a few paras. congrats bryan!





29th may will be the best day of the year and hoping for another shot at love again.


arghh, today i woke up really tired. had late nights for the past 2 days. dumb CS, got me "hooked". school was as per normal luckily today's maths lesson was interesting to a certain extent. we did geomatry( i dunno how to spell that) and the drawing stuffs. i played the EGO game in class too! lol i made the game up so the person who egos the most loses. which in this case was isaiah, who obviously is REALLY an ego guy LOL. jkjk. during recess i was like pushing timothy hung around, u know, "bullying" when one of my big classmate came up and said, thats not how you push someone. and then guess what, i was on the floor. it was like damn hard lar and he pushed me from the side. obviously it hurt. after school, i stayed back awhile for lang du and then went home later on. had tuition then dinner, chat a little, CS a little, then now im blogging! apparantly the people on msn now arent people i wanna talk to and the few that i want to, are Dao-ing me. Zzz. i think ill go sleep soon. btw i hate people who keep asking for hmwk every single god damn !@#!@ing day and when i dont reply for like 5 secs, i get nudged and insulted when im in a game or doing smth else which SUCKS big time. irritating shits of bob's pineapples of doom which grow underwater in the depths of the ocean where silver fishes thrive in peace and hunger. ok that was unnecassary but... yea ok im out of topics to speak of. right now im listening to brandon brag about his new found music. bye

OHHH and another thing. i SURVIVED THE HAIRCHECK!! YEA. however, some people didnt. (thats obvious) and rachakan was so "afraid" of the hair check that he didnt come to school today LOL.


i was also wondering when would i have another chance of a relationship in this all boys sec school.


should i give up?


lol today we had yeo man's service? we went to the national x country run after school which our school was organizing and did duty. we simply got deployed to spots around the running course and stood there for 2 hrs like idiots LOL. after that, we went home very tired. btw sji won the c div boys lol. the rest all won by other school which i cant bother to remember. arghh, im so tired now, cant be bothered to blog anymore.


ok lets see what happened so far from the last time i posted.

friends still retarded and irritating.
gig songs improved.
signed up for UG games day.
ting xies which i did quite well.
improved on the guitar.
chatted with alot of ppl.
downloaded CS.
rachakan came to my house today.
went for some animal farm play which wasnt the best.
jamming session.
no more correction tape.
needs more money.
class dustpan broke because of some idiots who like to fight.
the witnessing of nicholas running 2.4 in 11.17mins.
chatted with
-wan yi
-casey
-justin
-rachakan
-adnan
-yong chang (not so much)
-danny
-oonhim
-gaddiel
on msn.
school not being very exciting and stuff
always looking forward to weekends.
hair check tmr WTF my fringe so long sia Zz

well thats about sums it all up.
lol wan yi u wanted me to blog and this is what i did


LISTEN TO THE DAMN MUSIC PLS


if you have the time =D


ok lets see wad happened today *flashes back*


today we had PE where i had to run 2.4 again. very tiring but worth it. after that we went for art where we went to the library to look at the gallery. wa lao the painting liek damn pro de lor. so after that i went for recess and then i challenged yong chang and casey to see who got the biggest piece of UNAGI!!! cos it usually is very small portion that they give lor so yong chang got the biggest piece and i was like awwww LOL ok that was lame.

so the usual happened for the rest of the school time. joel whining to dont know what. eugene cheng clowning around, ren jie making retarded sounds, jamieson being a "retard", boaz being really weird. we were dismissed at 12.30 btw so i went to play soccer with moses and the 01 people. after that, we took 67 back home where i slacked and snacked lol.

very quickly, it became night and i had NOODLES FOR DINNER! yay and it was a quick one so i could get back to my comp to talk! tahts all for today i think. tmr need to have physics which sucks. wa lao. still have maths somemore BUT NO ENGLISH woot! ok i go play guitar liao. bye
btw im soo not looking forward to another day of getting whined at by joel cos its damn irritating.


LOL omg today was like FREAKING fun lar. after the usual saturday routines: wake up, breakfast, guitar class, lunch. JUSTIN came over!!! lol actually my bro and him were supposed to go elijah house but i think he pangseh them again? lols. so he was like at my house and we kinda crapped around. played 1 game of dota then listened TO ONG AND LEONG!!! omg that was like freaking retarded. so we laughed like siao. later in the day, we went to gym for like 45 mins around there, felt tired today so didnt do much. btw i saw wei liangs fren joey there lol. i asked him to like flex or smth so he took off his shirt and i was like OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU !!! cos it was RIPPLING? so later we went back to my house where we crapped around more. my mum asked justin to join us for dinner so he did! and it wasnt at our house lol. we went to my aunts house for dinner and the food there was like WOW! but i kinda get that every week so... yea. justin was kinda wowing a little bit cos he saw some cool stuff lols. well after dinner there was like 4 cakes on the table? LOL. got 2 people's b-day coming and the other 2 were for fun? ok i dunno. so after eating a few slices, we slipped back into the room to watch tv and after 30 mins or so we left and went to seven eleven at the carpark, but we decided to take justin around for a walk. first we went to the playground where erm... we fooled around and took some retarded videos of my bro sitting in the cup and us spinning his ass off lols. we took turns btw XD. we went to check out the gym but then it was locked so we couldent go in. .. so we went back to the house where we waited to go home. when we did, we sent justin back 1st. at home i didnt dota cos it was damn late at 10.30 for a game so i youtubed and msned wanyi and justin.
around 11+++ wan yi had to go off =( and then i was left bored. so my bro was like picking up his bass and said, we havent practised for a long time leh. so i picked my guitar up and played some songs before going to bed.

really fun day sia


i smile, you laugh. deep inside i sigh, why? im telling myself it must be because im feeling down, but no.

I'll just stand and wait, as long as i can, thinking where would we be now if we had found each other first.

so i must confess that im anchored by the weight of my heart because its filled with these feelings and ill keep my true thoughts locked inside the black box beside my heart. Where's the key? i dont know...

but what if love had found us first? that would be truely something amazing to think of.

so ill wait, ill wait... till i find the key.


ive learnt something in the past day...

it is impossible to please everyone
its impossible not to be hated
dont be too nice
its not very good to help all the time
dont bother so much about other people's problems.

and i will never let a third party mess up my friendship again, or at least try to do so. damn this compassionate heart of mine


btw after awhile, i feel that WHY DO I EVEN FUCKING BOTHER OMG. being so nice isnt good AT ALL. after apologising i still dont get no shit from ppl so why bother in the future? fuck it!!!


oh my gosh i think the biggest mistake was trying to solve this conflict. i DONT believe i made this worse OMG i really dont. the attempt to rekindle two partie's friendship has totaly failed. i seriously dont believe this. i cant help but blaming myself. Now one is so mad at the other because of wad i said and its all MY fault. WTFWTFWTFWTFOMGBBQQQQQ. should i still try or give up? will i make this better or worse? will this affect my friendship with both people? i really dont know...




feelling fucking guilty right now, presently trying to drown in with music


ok... so today i woke up at like 9. then go breakfast at bukit panjang where i cut my hair dont know wad ppl will think about it lol. somemore friday got party. so after cut hair it was like erm... 12ish? lol ok then i went home with my dad and bro 1st cos my mum was still doing her hair. Zzz everytime oso like that lol. last time worse, we had to wait for her. so at home i was like preparing some stuff for the jamming session later. my mum came back soon after and i had lunch. then went back to doing some guitar stuff . then around 4 i went to pick rachakan and eugene frm west mall to my house where we ehh discussed the songs parts of The River and Meant To Live. then we slacked a little bit here and there lols. then wan yi came online so i said "hello" and then when she replied, i was like omfg to myself as i realised that i gtg. LOL. that was really weird and dumb. so i said bb and left the house with bandmates. we went to seng chai jamming studio near JEC there. i met up with adnan ( guitar teacher) before that btw.
when i stepped into the studio, i was like WTF SO FREAKING LOUD SIA. then when we went to the room, we realised that there wasnt like soundproof walls Zzz. and the room was like $#@% ing cold and after awhile of jamming my fingers were like numb. so we got 3 songs down. top of the world, the river and meant to live. need a little fine tuning though but im sure we'll be ready.
around 8, we were out of time and we went to find something to eat. although my mum told me there was dinner at home, i bought some hotdogs or smth like that. later my mum fetched brandon and i home while rach and eugene went to macs for dinner. i wanted to have dinner with them but wtheck. now i just finished dinner and blogging (obvious? lol) going to bathe now.
NOOOO tmr go back to school le. wtf.


btw, saturday was a sucky day which was flag day and i dont wnana talk about it at all

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BRYAN LUM.
a 13 year old guy who is kinda obsessed with the guitar and music.
enjoys playing dota too. btw add me on friendster is u have. trying to lvl up XD (get more frens)
Likes.
DotA,
playing guitar.
chatting with frens
meeting new ppl who dont suck
being lame around my friends
DID I MENTION I LOVE MY GUITAR? WELL I DO LOVE IT.
Hateschildish people
people who suck
not being able to play a song a like
being hated/daoed
being asked retarded questions by retarded people over and over again
being praised for things i didnt do.
show offs
pissing my good friends off
Wants!!! an ibanez prestige
my classmates to grow up and get damn fucking and lives
that person to like me.
to find the courage to tell her how i feel
TO HAVE A GREAT PERFORMANCE ON 29TH MAY!!!
everyone to be happy and not be hated


wanyi
Isabelle
oonhim
gaddiel
justin nah bay
brandon
leon
charles
alexis
Adam's and Jon's blog (104 blog?)
amelia
Samuel lai

March 2007

April 2007

May 2007

June 2007

if you dont like the song, just mute ur comp, dont flame. i despise flamers for they can all burn in hell :)
btw most of the music i put up, i can play it
i will change it from time to time
Designer: NINETYdegrees
Brushes:x